Monday, February 27, 2012

Oscars: Sullen Rose Byrne


Anna Wintour called. She wants her wig back.

I used to walk to work behind Rose Byrne. We both caught ferries into Circular Quay, then we walked down to Walsh Bay. Her to Sydney Theatre Company, me to Bangarra Dance Theatre.

Clearly we are kindred spirits, and that gives me the unique position of being able to offer up some advice.

You're totes hot. We get that.

But for goodness sake, crack a smile for once. You're starting to remind me of Kristen Stewart. Crankypants dot com will be dialling you up real soon.

PS - While I do like your dress, it's a little subdued and, well, dare I say it, boring. Dynasty black sequins and Anna Wintour's wig? Yowsers. As your friend, this isn't your best. But yes, yes you are still mega-beautiful.

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